Nature's Promise..!

The clock is ticking ..the year is winding up. I wake up this morning to see this tiny nest hanging on the mango tree in our garden. What a glorious promise of nature ! If winter comes can spring be far behind ? Waiting for glad tidings in 2011....

Empty Nest, Once Again

It is exactly one month since I bid her good bye.."I will miss you, mom" I whispered in her ears as I bent down to kiss on her cold forehead for the last time.a tiny smile dancing on her lips even in the grip of death..She looked almost regal draped in a gold and red brocade shawl. Her skin fairer than usual...the shadow of death all over her body.Some one held me trying to console ..the usual words.. She was old and sick... it is good that she didn't suffer more. Yeah, that is true. But when you lose a dear one you don't want to be logical, for grief knows no logic .
I walked back to the room, looked at her bed on which she lay the previous night struggling for breath . Little did I knew that it was going to be her last struggle. Little did I knew that death was at the door waiting for me to fall asleep...perhaps he felt that had I been awake I may not let him take her away so easily....But ultimately he won which is the only reality of life.

As minutes roll into hours and hours into days.....the reality sinks in more and more deeply .The grief is still raw ...Sleepless nights flooded with memories...good, bad , indifferent. Our innumerable arguments, the song I composed about her....she was never tired of listening to it. The tiff we had over a pair of gold earrings.Hugging those memories as my only solace I lay awake in my bed and ask myself like Macbeth

Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased,
Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow,
Raze out the written troubles of the brain
And with some sweet oblivious antidote
Cleanse the stuff'd bosom of that perilous stuff
Which weighs upon the heart?

As if on queue comes a message in my email this morning :

"Never get hurt when god takes something off your hands,
it's sure that he is leaving u empty handed to receive something better."

A message from up above ? Perhaps.

Hasn't the Lord assured Na me bhakta pranashati ?

Waqt Nahi

Life has a strange way of hitting you hard when you least expect it.

It was 9 past when the telephone rang. I feel a bit nervous when the telephone rings after 9 pm. A uneasy sense of forboding…as if some not so good news is awaiting me at the other end. I said ‘helo’ and an old familiar voice from the other side said “Hi”. Instantly I recognized her, my old friend K . It has been a long time….both of us agreed. How are the kids ? Mother ? We exchanged notes…the usual stuff we talked and all along I was thinking that any moment her husband would snatch the phone from her and will start with his usual gusto and cheer. Teasing me, making fun of me….When I couldn’t wait any longer I asked her “ How is V Sir ?” emphasizing ‘Sir’ in a mocking tone . A moment’s silence….then she asked “Don’t you know…..he passed away on March 8^th .’ I almost fainted. I thought I heard her wrong . What ? Can he die just like that ? I cann’t imagine a world without friends like him. K was naturally surprised that neither I visited nor called her after this terrible tragedy in her life . Then after about six months when she couldn’t bear it any more , she decided to call me to find out if I knew about her loss…And she went on with all the details….how the end came and how she and the children are coping with the loss…I was not actually listening to her. In that instant I died a thousand times .All I wanted was to be alone. I felt cheated that he has gone without even saying good bye .

I want to kick myself for not keeping in touch with such wonderful friends. How we take friendships and people for granted ! As if they are going to be there for ever while we are busy with so many other things . Is it the curse of modern life ? Or is it that as we grow older we become complacent….? As if on queue S sent me this poem …. “Waqt Nahi” , may be an admonition , a warning ?

Har khushi hai logon ke damon mein

Pr ek hansi ke liye waqt nahi

Saare rishton ko to hum maar chuke

Ab unhe dafnane ka bhi waqt nahi.

Saare naam mobile mein hai,

Par dosti ke liye waqt nahi

Gairon ki kya baat Karen

Jab alno ke liye waqt nahi

Tu hi bata e zindagi

Iss zindagi ka kya hoga

Ki har pal marne walon ko

Jeene ke liye bhi waqt nahi.

Now no amount of guilt is going to bring you back to life. Be with the angels….enjoy the life up there as you did down here…. I will miss you ,dear friend !

On Whose Side is God ?

A pastor went to the mountains for mountain- lion hunting. Along the path he collided with a lion. The pastor stumbled and began tumbling down the mountains with the lion in hot pursuit.

As the lion closed in, the pastor cried out in desperation, “Lord, please save me. Please make that lion a Christian”.

Suddenly the lion stopped at the pastor’s feet, clasped its paws
together and said “God, bless this food which I am about to eat.” !

meditation

Murphy's Law

So the saga continues..my tryst with the M factor in my life. .The present one (let me call her J)is a giggly 30 something ( for reasons unknown to me all of them are 30 something ) whose local diction and language are not acceptable to my mother. The amount of mediation I keep doing between the two of them makes me wonder if I am qualified to lead a delegation to the Maoists!

What happened today is hilarious although it has nothing to do with her language or diction. Mother has to take medicines for her various ailments. One particular medicine to be given on alternate days. So the super organizer that I am ( or so I thought till recently), I got into action.

Step 1 : I put a mark on all alternate days on my table calendar and showed it to J explaining that the marks indicated the days on which the medicine to be given. She said ‘fine’.

Step 2: I put the medicine in a separate container so that it will not be confused with others. Showed it to J. She said ‘fine’.

Step 3: As an additional precaution I put a ‘reminder’ alarm in my mobile.

Mind you, all these precautions were taken just in case I am not around during mother’s medicine time . Today happened to be one such day. At 9 o’ clock sharp my mobile gave a beep. J has a mobile phone and so understands its mechanisms. I showed her the message and casually asked if she had given the medicine to mother. She nodded.

Later during the day mother mentioned that she hasn’t had her medicine. I looked at J . Her eyes widened and she asked “ Oh, am I supposed to give it today ?I thought it was tomorrow.” I just couldn’t believe my ears !

“But when I asked you said you had given it ?” Her eyes opened even wider. “When did you ask me ? “ (I had already started shivering by then,trying to control my temper.Count up to ten,I told my self !) Outwardly I tried to look calm and reminded her of our earlier conversation and my showing her the mobile reminder . J gave a broad grin and said “Oh, that. You see I was not actually listening to you. At that time I was wondering whether to take a hot or cold water shower”.

You were absolutely right,Murphy ! "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".

Let Go !

This guy was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped .He grabbed a branch and was hanging there.After an hour or so, he felt exhausted and looked up to the heavens and cried out :

”God help me please......”

All of a sudden the clouds parted and a voice boomed out :

“ Let go!” said the voice.

The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, then said :

“Is there anyone else up there ?”

A Monsoon Messenger !

 

Good Morning !

 

My Canon at work again !

Something to drink and munch to keep the heat away........




 

Summer 2010

My idea of defying the heat.........nature at its best. Captured some of them in my Canon !