When I pressed the panic button !

Some virus found it interesting to invade my body and decided to stay put there for more days than necessary. By the end of the first week I started feeling jittery and started imagining the worst. My husband has also been sick for the last six months due to UTI and enlarged prostate. We had no business to fall ill like this, I thought. Certainly something is wrong somewhere. Someone told me my ‘seven and a half shani ‘ has just started and it is showing its powers. I went to the temple to do some puja to ward off the evils of shani. When I told the priest he laughed and said “ You see the shani has to be somewhere ,no ?” But he agreed to do the puja. What kind of a priest is this ? Yet another ‘well-wisher’ told me that it is all due to the Chinese flowers that are standing in a corner of my drawing room which is causing all these troubles. But she also gave me a remedy- put some tulsi leaves on them and the negative energy will go away. I did accordingly.

I wanted to discuss these things with my husband. He simply brushed me aside saying “ These are all old-age problems. We are not getting any younger .” Having got drenched in that bucket of cold water I told my mother about my fears. She was genuinely upset and straight away went to her puja-room and threatened her gods of dire consequences if I am not cured soon. It was some consolation. Then I called-up my elder brother and told him the details of my problems and half jokingly added that he should take care of my cremation etc in case the worst happened. His sense-of-humour had gone on a holiday. In all seriousness he said “ Of course, I will. But you will be alright soon “ I could hear my sister-in-law giggling in the background. I felt like a ball pelted up in the air which came back with a thud.

My younger brother was at home and so I decided to pour out my heart to him. He heard me out with a dead-pan. When I finished , he said in a slow and grave tone “ You take care “. I was so touched and my eyes almost filled up with tears, when I heard him say “ Isn’t that one is supposed to say ?”

I stamped out of the room. I called up my elder sister who is a walking medical encyclopedia ,having gone through a lot in her life. She heard me quietly and in the end told me ever so affectionately “It is only UTI. You cannot have any serious illness. I am sure. Keep me informed.. “ I was touched. Then it was my younger sister. She showed all decent signs of shock and pain. She strongly believed that it is all due to someone’s evil eye. Asked me to chant Hanuman Chaalisa ( Which I had already started.) She was almost in tears and assured me that she will pray for me. I felt lots better. Her doctor-son called me up immediately after that. He assured me it is nothing serious. A typical medico talk, I thought. Will he ever tell me that I am slowly dying ?

My son and daughter-in-law called up from Delhi. My son asked me what is wrong ? I told him I have lost some weight. “Good, you can get back into your jeans now “. (Since when has he developed such weird sense of humour ?.)” But seriously, the doc said may be he has to put me on steroid “Good ,mom. May be you can participate in senior Olympics “. My daughter-in-law must have felt that it is getting out of hand. So she snatched the phone from him and consoled me “ Mom you will be alright. You just have to be positive. Visualise yourself to be completely alright, mom.This is nothing serious “

Immediately afterwards her doctor-mother called and asked me to read out my medical reports to her. After a detailed discussion she assured me that it is nothing but UTI. I started feeling better.

In the evening my son and daughter-in-law from the US called up. It was their usual Sunday phone call. Moreover they didn’t know that I was ill for some time. So my daughter-in-law was a little taken aback and probably didn’t know how to react. She tried to console me and gave the phone to my son. “ What is up, mom ?”

“ I am being treated for UTI and if it doesn’t work out, may the doc.will….”

Before I could finish, he started laughing “ What, are you in competition with dad ? I thought he had UTI. Now don’t tell me you have enlarged prostate also…” I wanted to scream while he continued “ You never know. Women want equality in everything………..”

I gave up !